Breather

This has been one of those weeks where I feel like I haven't slowed down once. I know there had to be bits of downtime here and there, but overall, it's been GO GO GO. And I'm pooped.

On the upside, it's also been one of those rare weeks where I feel like I've actually accomplished something. I made progress on several projects that were hanging over my head. So there's that silver lining.

I went back to work six months ago. Micah was three months old, still a shrieking, frustratingly inconsolable lump of baby. I was HAPPY to be back at work, in a world I understood, where someone else had the responsibility of caring for the thankless little screamer.

But then Micah became awesome, almost overnight. And Todd started traveling again. And work got harder, the days seemed to get shorter, and I began to feel like a hamster on a wheel, always running, running and never making any progress at all. I've lost interest in doing my job, I ache to see more of my rapidly-changing baby, and I'm more exhausted every single day. Weekends are meaningless - just time to catch up on all the stuff I didn't have time to do during the week. If I take time to relax, it's always at the expense of sleep, because nothing else has any leeway. Something has to give.

A few weeks ago, my parents took Micah so Todd and I could go out and celebrate our anniversary, and over dinner we decided I would approach my boss about going part-time. And so, last week, I did.

It's not official yet. I still have to sit down with my department manager and work out specifics like what days I'll be in, who will cover what, and there's the little matter of money. But it's a step, and just knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel has helped immensely.

There's a little something that feels almost like guilt for admitting I just can't do it all, a voice that keeps whispering, "Plenty of women manage everything, so why can't I just put on my big girl pants and figure out their system, huh? Am I just a complete wuss? Oh god, I totally suck at this parent thing." But mostly it's drowned out by the sheer relief of realizing I don't have to keep sliding down the slope. I have the option of stepping back for a while and you know what? I'm going to take it.

Random picture and update on E

Elizabeth is doing better. She came home from the hospital Wednesday, Thursday night she was back in again, and now it looks like she'll come home tomorrow. Her kidneys seem to have finished torturing her for the moment. Cross your fingers.

Talk about your Mondays

This lady is causing trouble.

At 3:00 AM on Monday morning, she called to tell me she was in quite a bit of pain and they were heading to the hospital. Todd and I bundled Micah up and drove over to stay with Daniel. A few hours later, she and her husband came back to report that she probably had a kidney stone, so the doctor sent her home to drink fluids and TAKE TYLENOL.

(Tylenol. For an effing KIDNEY STONE. That's like saying, "Oh, your arm's off? Here, use this duct tape.")

Monday evening, after many many hours of intense pain, they were back at the hospital where she finally received some lovely, wonderful Demerol. Micah and I spent the night with Daniel again. Today they (finally) got confirmation that she has two kidney stones, and tomorrow the doctors will (finally) be Doing Something about it.

Since Todd's out of town again, my mother came down to wrangle the 3-year-old, which means there's a good chance I'll actually get to sleep tonight. IN MY OWN BED. In the meantime, Elizabeth is doing a little better, and after her surgery tomorrow she should be feeling mostly back to normal. Or as normal as a 34-weeks pregnant woman can, I guess. But I'm sure this one ranks pretty high on her list of worst weeks ever.

Clearly I'm not getting any work done today

After reading this article, I had to go and take the National Drivers Test myself.

They said I scored an 90%, but I have to cry foul because one of the questions I missed was about how far ahead of a turn you should put on your signal. I said 50 feet, they said 100 feet, but lo, page 30 of the Tennessee manual says "At least 50 feet before the turn, you must turn on your turn signal light." Seeing as that's where I learned to drive, I'm going to say I nailed that one, ya jerks.

(Although to be fair, in Alabama, where I now live, it actually is 100 feet. I guess I learned something new today.)

So, 95% on remembering the driving laws I was taught, 90% on pertinent state law. That means Todd can't give me any more crap when I bitch about another driver doing something illegal. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, DAMMIT.

(Also, I kind of want to print out page 23 of the Alabama Manual - the one with all the diagrams of what lane you're effing SUPPOSED to turn into - and put a copy on every windshield in this entire city.)

Suddenly, SQUAWK! THUMP!

Hey, thanks for your opinions! (Except you, Jeff. Except you.) In the end, b, e, and c won (in that order), so I went ahead and sent in the photos. You can see the album here. The 20 semi-finalists in Micah's age bracket will be selected sometime around July 14th, but since there are currently 55,595 entries, with 33 days left to enter, let's just say I'm not getting my hopes up. ;-)

In other news, I've kind of been on a nostalgic kick lately, and as a result have been looking up books I loved when I was little (The Ordinary Princess, The Castle in the Attic, The Indian in the Cupboard, The Mouse and the Motorcycle, and several baby books). There's one picture book my grandmother used to read to us about a witch and a house with red-checkered curtains and blueberry pancakes. The storyline had been more or less lost to time, although I remembered those few details, and I'd actually forgotten the title until blessed Yahoo dredged it up for me. Old Black Witch! by Wende and Harry Devlin was my favorite, the most requested book on her shelf (besides the one about ballet), and I wanted to get a copy for Micah. And wow, did you know that a new, shiny copy of that book will run you $175? I think perhaps I'll stick with a nice, used copy, THANKS. And that'll still put you out $20 or so. Apparently I'm not the only one who loves that book.

Suddenly, SQUAWK! THUMP! And down from the chimney fell a big, black mess. It was covered with cobwebs and made terrible sounds. It stumbled out of the fireplace into the room. From its long, pointed hat to its long, pointed shoes, it was covered with ashes. It was a fright. It was furious. And it was an old black witch.

I know Micah's just a bit young now, but I'm trying to grab up all the good books before they vanish. I'm hoping and betting he'll have the same love of reading as I do, and while I'm sure he'll find his own favorites, I want to have a few things sitting around for him to stumble across. Also, it gives me the chance to go back and read-read them myself. WIN!

(Ooooh! Ooooh! I just found another one - Miss Suzy. I remember that book!)