Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Over the Weekend

A bit earlier than expected, but Little Opie is here. Go forth and congratulate her proud parents!

Anthony and Heather, she's beautiful. I'm so happy for you.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Springtime

Everything is blooming.


Everything. This is why I can't breathe.


What does one do when one is sneezing and snorting and trying to recover from the Attack of the Killer Trees?

Why, Baby Torture, of course!


Kiddo, this is totally payback for yesterday's Poop Intervention. I'd say we're even.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Half a year

Micah turned six months old on March 12th. And then my heart broke into a million pieces, because when everyone said it would go by so fast, they were right.

So around a week and a half ago, we introduced Micah to solids foods. I'd planned on waiting until a few weeks after the 6-month mark, but he had begun to stare so intently at anyone eating real food, it was getting creepy. It started at daycare, when they'd prop him up to watch them feed the older babies, then evolved to him tracking every movement of my fork to and from my plate and making grabs at any food within arm's reach, and ended with me feeling as if his next "milestone" would be to rip off and devour a chuck of my flesh if I didn't give him something more substantial than milk.

(And to think I always thought people who said, "the baby will tell you when he's ready for solids" were nuts.)

He had the spoon thing figured out before we even got started - his mouth was open like a little baby bird the moment he saw the bowl. It was what you DO with the food after it gets in your mouth that confused him, but after only a few WTF moments, he worked it out. Nowadays, the boy can suck down a bowl of rice cereal or bananas quicker than you can say nannerpus.

Being doting parents, we documented the entire experience; however, due to my own personal hang-ups regarding photos of children covered in food (I have personally vowed to never, ever subject anyone to a photo of my spawn covered in spaghetti), I will not be posting pictures of the introductory food event. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Instead, baby hand. OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.



Anyway, I'm trying very hard to view this new phase as a happy thing, but part of me is honestly a little sad. It's the first tiny step towards independence, the start of the gradual pull away from me, and it hurts a bit more than I expected.

You know what else hurts me? Solid food diapers. We won't even go there.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Morning news

This morning when I turned on the news, it seemed like it was nothing but stories about people being shot. Twelve people in Alabama, sixteen in Germany, the gymnastics teacher and bank employee here in Huntsville, the husband and wife in Madison, the football player in Lawrence County, the woman in Mobile, it just went on and on until I couldn't take it anymore and turned off the TV. The one in Alabama - what makes a person shoot babies? I don't think I really want to know.

The other week, I had an appointment with my much-loved OB-GYN who is pretty much an awesome doctor. Usually. But on this particular day, I don't know if it was because it was early on a Monday morning, or if he'd had a bad weekend, or what, but both he and his nurse were WAY off their game. They spent half the appointment telling me horrible stories about children being beaten or killed, and while I was nodding politely the whole time (because who isn't polite to the individual rooting around in one's lady bits with a pipe cleaner and a set of salad spoons? that's just common sense right there), inside I was mentally curling up into a ball going LALALALALA-STOP TALKING ABOUT DEAD BABIES-LALALALA. Then, the topic abruptly veered into religious territory when the nurse sighed, "You know, I just don't know how long the Lord's gonna let us go on like this, killing and hurting each other." And while she and the doctor enthusiastically discussed this new topic, I reflexively curled up into an even tighter mental ball, thinking, CAN WE PLEASE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT THE DEAD BABIES? because there's nothing more awkward than a religious conversation, especially when you're wearing nothing but a paper tablecloth.

But today, after I shut off the TV, and I was sitting alone in the dark living room, thinking about all the families who've recently lost their loved ones to random, senseless violence, I thought of what that nurse said. And sometimes, on days like today, I kind of wonder that myself. How long can we go on like this? Then again, the human race has generally been at each other's throats since before we learned to walk upright, so my guess is an awfully long time.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Hypothetically speaking...

...would YOU take a job working on environmental compliance for a company that ALLEGEDLY operates as a front for drug trafficking? Specifically, Mexican marijuana? Please keep in mind that the owners of said company have an ALLEGED history of murder, firebombing, and threats, and have historically been more involved in ALLEGED cocaine trafficking. It's just that the nose candy business is slow, so why not mix up your inventory? ALLEGEDLY.

On one hand, you know they're good for the fees (the $$$$$ seized by the police notwithstanding) and they'll probably pay in cash (and, possibly, weed).

On the other hand, MURDER AND/OR FIREBOMBING. Also, who's to say whether they'll be in prison or whacked by a Mexican cartel before they get the chance to pay up?

So, what with the slow economy and all...what would YOU do?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Baby feet + snow day = AWESOME

Well, so far March is off to a great start. Yesterday, when I woke up, I was greeted by this:


And then, there was also SNOW. Only an inch, and it melted before noon, but there was honest-to-god snow, and it was beautiful.