It's been almost three months since the miscarriage. Three months. I wouldn't have believed it at the time, but now there are whole days that go by and I don't think about it even once. Like it happened to someone else, or not at all.
But then there are days like Saturday and Sunday and today, when the "would have beens" come out to play. By now, we would have known she was a girl. We'd be picking out names and registering for a second crib. I'd be wearing my maternity clothes again, and watching my belly jump as she kicked and rolled. We'd be telling Micah about his baby sister and making plans for how we'd help him adjust.
Even though days may go by without consciously thinking about her, I can't stop myself from tracking this not-pregnancy in the back of my mind. I'm still counting down to January, but for what, I'm not sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment