Thursday Todd and I hosted our very first Thanksgiving and it was actually FUN. Well, to be fair, we didn't do much of the cooking - my mother did most of it and my sister contributed too - but it was at our house. Our firefighter neighbor was a bit concerned when he spotted our turkey frier out back, but we assured him we wouldn't be burning the house down. And lo, the bird was tasty, and the dogs did not catch on fire.
Friday night the grandparents took Micah so Todd and I could go out to dinner together. It was a strange mix of freedom and a nagging sense of I-think-we-forgot-something. We enjoyed the evening, but I also spent a large part of it resisting the urge to snatch someone's baby up for snuggling. I suppose it was good practice for when I return to work in two weeks.
Speaking of, apparently my coworkers are counting the days until I get back. Last Friday I stopped by for our Thanksgiving lunch, and I wasn't at all sure they were willing to let me leave. I've been worried that with me gone and the economy going in the crapper, I would be the first one up if they needed to let someone go. The last thing I wanted was for people to think they were getting along just fine without me. Thankfully, there's a ton of work waiting. If anything, I'll be totally swamped. My bosses both had a definite note of desperation in their voices when they asked what date I'd be back. So, there's that fear eased.
Now there's just the whole emotional paradox of looking forward to returning to work, but not wanting to leave my child behind. I feel like there are two people inhabiting my brain - the engineer who wants to get back to doing engineering, and the mom who just wants to stay home and enjoy her baby. I really want to do BOTH, without sacrificing anything, and that's just not how it works.
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