Big Brother

So, it's been almost seven weeks now and several people have asked me how Micah is doing with all this. It's kind of mixed - he's awesome with Aerin, but, predictably, he's been having a rough time dealing with the reduction in attention.

The first day in the hospital, Micah kissed her on the head, tried to feed her some of his Cheerios, and sang her Itsy Bitsy Spider and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Nothing much has changed since. He still wants to kiss her on the head and lightly touch her face or hands at every opportunity. He comes in to tell her good morning every day, sometimes even before she's awake. He shares his lovey and his blanket with her. When it's storming, he tells her, "It's okay, Baby Aerin, it's just thunder." When I was out of town last weekend, he told Todd he missed his little sister. He seems to genuinely love her.

On the other hand, although we've tried our best, it's mathematically impossible to spend as much time with Micah as before, and we've started to see him react over the last few weeks. It started with whining, moved to defiance, and then shifted into tantrums over the littlest things. The week before last was especially bad, I think because we were delegating more of his care to Abby, so he was getting even less attention. Todd had to endure several I Am Disappoint chats with the daycare teacher, including one in which she described an incident where Micah was observed grabbing two fistfuls of his best friend's cheeks, in order to yank the friend in close so he could yell at him more efficiently. In response, we worked it out so Micah stayed home with Todd while I was in Hendersonville last weekend for a friend's baby shower. After a full two days of undivided attention from his dad (and some seriously fun activities out of the house), last week was much better. Micah stayed out of trouble at daycare, obeyed us consistently, and (most importantly) didn't try to rip anyone's face off.

Another thing we’ve been working on with Micah is "use your words." It's mostly because neither of us can tolerate the whining "NUH" all toddlers seem to use to express displeasure, but it's worked out really well. I can't tell you how many potential tantrums we've diffused over the last week simply by letting Micah explain why he's pissed about something. It doesn't generally change the outcome, but he feels better having said his piece. It's not a magic bullet, but he hasn't had to go to time-out once so far this weekend, and that's a minor miracle.

One of my favorite bloggers recently said, "I guess there's always a moment or two, after you have another baby, when you look at your older child and think 'OH GREAT. I BROKE HIM.'" That's pretty much what happened with Micah. But like most older children, I think he's getting over it and adjusting to the new normal.

And at least he hasn’t tried to off the baby yet, unlike his mother with her baby sister. Ahem.